Bird Island

Bird Island? More like turd island. It’s really just a glorified sand bar made of bird poop-covered rocks. They really should make it more visible to paddle to in the middle of the night- there are no lights and the only way to figure out what direction to paddle in is to follow the silhouette of the small bush against the lights on the shore. Clearly waterway safety isn’t high on the priority list for the Campground Maintenance Team. Scenic location? More like hazard to navigation. The landscaping is really a let down, too. The bush on the north side of the island is a nice feature but clearly hasn’t been trimmed ever and it’s impossible to walk around it. There are also a couple of dead birds scattered around the base of it which really kills the vibe. Pristine environment? I say ready for retirement. I’m also pretty sure I got a couple of diseases while staying here. There’s no signage posted so I don’t think that the birds are vaccinated and you spend the entire night breathing in whatever germs go airborne off of all the bird poop. Avian flu? It gotchu. The whole island is maybe 6 inches out of the water, meaning that the campsite could easily get flooded if storms or wind kick up any big waves on the lake. You’d think that at least the wind would help blow the smell of death and bird poop away, but you’d be mistaken. Your body heat on the ground just activates the stench catapult. A nice breeze? I’d call it olfactory assault. The breeze also threatens to blow your tent over the entire night. Even with two people and a canoe set up to provide shelter from the wind, the tent bowed all night long. Any camper thinking "why not just use stakes to stake the tent down?" clearly has never spent the night on Bird Island. There’s no dirt on bird island. There’s also no sand. It’s just rocks. The stakes go in, but there’s zero friction to keep the tent held down. Sturdy foundation? Just rock-based frustration. At least complimentary meals are provided. Your choice of dead fish or rotting bird carcasses- so it’s pescatarian friendly. If you’ve made it to the end of this review you probably have what it takes to survive on Bird Island. Bird island campers club members must post overnight pictures as proof of membership.

Absolutely breathtaking... hosts of feathered friend fecal factories and their putrid post mortem counterparts will welcome you to this comprehensive, gratuity free, avian flu inoculative experience. Like Ernest Shackleton’s infamous elephant island, this Utah treasure is somewhere only the most intrepid adventurers get to experience. The shallow land mass is identifiable only by a large square bush that crowns it with a splash of herbaceous life on an otherwise rocky crag. Routinely, the isle sinks like the lost city of Atlantis into the depths of Utah lake during high precipitation periods only to rise again as a true “desert island” in times of drought. Don’t miss out on this unforgettable experience! Simply paddle 2 choppy nautical miles of rigorous accomplishment to this natural wonder in the middle of Utah lake. Like the plentiful droppings, the unparalleled panoramic views are also abundant. Best attempted in November when the subtle perfume of scat encrusted seabird corpses is at its lowest, just make sure to pack warm wind/water proof clothes and a dry bag. This isolated retreat is something to be treasured as it is truly just you, the birds, and a vast beautiful landscape. Highly recommend for experienced paddlers with basic navigation skills and others seeking a truly wild experience. Note: while there is full cell service on the island, you will need to bring your own stove, water purification, shelter, and other amenities. Other nearby attractions include seasonal duck hunting, fishing, and the Lincoln WaRm springs!

I don't know why this is marked as a campground. It absolutely is not. It's a small rocky sandbar that rises maybe six inches above the water in a low water year and can be completely submerged in higher water years. It's a nesting habitat for a lot of water birds like seagulls and pelicans. They are all ground nesting since there are no trees, so please don't disturb them and don't try to camp on the island. Kinda cool place to paddle out to if you've got the nav skills to cross a few miles of open water, but otherwise there's nothing out there.